I grew in Kilcullen, Co. Kildare in Ireland and was raised in a Catholic family where God, religion and spirituality was never discussed. My mother often encouraged me to go to Mass, and sometimes I went, but a lot if the time I’d lie about going. Mass didn’t mean a whole lot to me because I didn’t understand what it was about. I remember being taught in school that Jesus died for us on the cross but I never really understood what that meant and I’m sure many people are still in that same boat.
But I do remember praying every night before bed, the Our Father, Hail Mary and Glory Be. Nobody made me do this, I just did it, it was important to me. So, I always believed in God. I don’t think I ever entertained the notion that life ends at death.
I was always interested in the meaning of life and spiritual questions. Around the age of 15, I started taking an interest in philosophy and I found this to be very helpful in teaching me not to take things at face value, but do dig a bit deeper and question previously held assumptions. Over the next 10 years or so, I started looking beyond my shaky Catholic faith to other forms of spirituality. I was on a search for the truth about God and the meaning of life.
I moved from one world-view to the next, but never finding anything that struck me to the core of my being, as being the absolute Truth. I bought heaps of books that dealt with the likes of:
Taoism/Daoism, I-Ching New Age (chakras, kundalini, chi/prana, reincarnation etc) Astral Travel/meditation Macrobiotics (blandest diet ever!), Yin/Yang, Buddhism Yoga/Hinduism (I joined the Self-Realization Foundation for a number of years) Quakers
When I came across a book called Autobiography of Yogi, by Paramahansa Yogananda), I thought that I’d arrived at a truth that was hidden from most “ordinary” people. This philosophy teaches reincarnation, that the life we are born into corresponds to the degree of our spiritual advancement. We are born again and again until we learn the spiritual secrets required to break free of the cycle of rebirth in order to reach a state called “samadhi”, becoming one of the great Masters like Gandhi, Buddha, Jesus or Krishna. It’s a philosophy that appeals very much to a person’s pride. It’s also quite a selfish world-view because it’s very much about self advancement. It also teaches that the world is an illusion (Maya) and that suffering too is an illusion, which does do anything to encourage compassion for others.
On the 17th of September 1999, my mother Marie (God rest her), flew to Lourdes during a long battle with cancer. It was her dying wish to make it to Lourdes and towards the end of her life, her faith grew very strong. Before she departed this world, she asked to brought to the famous grotto, and by all accounts, she had a spiritual experience there which touched her very deeply. That very night, she passed away peacefully.
At this time, I was very much caught up in eastern philosophies and I believed in reincarnation. I was also listening to a lot of heavy-metal and I was getting into heavier and heavier stuff (Death, Slayer, Sepultura, Testament etc). I was also becoming more anti-catholic at the time. If I met a priest on the street, I wouldn’t have given him the time of day. I hadn’t been to Mass or confession for years and I had no intention of doing so again.
In 2004, my brother asked me would I be interested in a pilgrimage to Lourdes with the Oblates from Inchicore in Dublin, and I said yes. I was still very immersed in the yoga philosophy at the time and I remember trying to convince poor Fr. Supple that reincarnation was true using specious arguments based on biblical verses. But if reincarnation is true, then Jesus died an agonizing death on the cross for nothing! At this time, I held the view that either the Church was unaware of these secret truths or it had deliberately suppressed them to keep people in a state of ignorance.
As it happened, the Lourdes experience had a very profound effect on me and it was literally a life-changing experience. I honestly think it was a miracle what happened to me. First of all, I was very affected by the amazing sense of peace and good-will that is found in Lourdes. Every one of the volunteers who went on that pilgrimage gave up their free time and hard-earned money to go help “the sick”. The sense of joy was so palpable and everyone there was there for the good of less fortunate people.
The other aspect that impressed me deeply was the devotion and faith of the other pilgrims who went there. I’d never experienced this before and it left a very strong impression on me. It made me wonder what it was about their faith that brought such devotion to Jesus and his mother, Mary.
On the night before heading back to Ireland, I decided to visit the grotto, the place my mother visited 6 years earlier. I got down on my knees and prayed to God for guidance to find the truth. I must have still had doubts in my mind about the path I was on. Maybe the Holy Spirit was prompting me.
When I got back home, I found myself in the strange situation that I had developed a sudden interest in learning about Christianity. I read everything I could get my hands on, the bible, theology, biographies of the saints, the catechism and lots of the old classics like The Imitation of Christ. I would describe what I discovered like finding a spiritual treasure chest. But the book that most amazed me was the Diary of St. Faustina. It’s a totally mind-blowing read and I highly recommend it.
At one point, God gave me the grace of knowing just how deceived I’d become by false philosophies and belief systems. I came to accept in my heart that, just as the bible says, Jesus is the “Way, the Truth and the Life”. I finally understood why Jesus died on the cross for us. One evening, I became painfully aware of how sinful my life had become, how I rejected God’s ways. It hit me like a ton of bricks and I cried like a baby, telling God how sorry I was. It was a real prodigal son moment for me and to this day that story in the Gospel of Luke means a lot to me.
My decision to become a follower of Christ has made a massive impact on my life. It gives every aspect of my life meaning and purpose. I’ve learned that God’s grace is as essential as the air we breathe. I believe that we were created out of love and that the way we live our lives on this earth demonstrate our true nature. i.e. whether we live according to God’s plan for humanity or we follow our own selfish desires.
I’ve learned that a life of prayer is absolute essential to keep us connected with God’s grace and I know from experience that if I stop praying, I start to fall off the wagon. I’ve also had countless prayers answered, it’s amazing.
Why am I writing all this? Basically I want to share the “Good News” with the world. We live in an age of deception. The bible warns about false messiahs and the fact that people would loose faith. We are constantly distracted from God by television, internet, gadgets, noise etc so we have no time left over for prayer. At the same time we are told that if we have the right car or house or look a certain way, we’ll be happy. So we chase things that have no lasting value.
On the other hand, we are being told that belief in God is childish and we should grow up and just live with the fact that life ends when we die. I don’t accept this at all. We are being sold a lie e.g. The God Delusion by Richard Dawkins. For anyone who cares to find out the truth, there is quite a bit of evidence for God’s existence. And there is also evidence that Christianity is the most plausible religion, e.g. evidence for Jesus’ resurrection (which is surprisingly strong). Not all religions can be true because they contradict each other. They are either all wrong, or one is true. You can’t have reincarnation and judgement after death.
I’ll finish with this quote from St. Paul in 1 Corinthians:
“No eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the human heart conceived, what God has prepared for those who love him.”
God bless you. Noel.